About Me

Who am I?

Hi. My name is Chris, and I am a compassionate and curious human being who believes that kindness is the only real currency in the world that matters.

I am a husband and father. A son and a brother.

Connection, compassion, and psychological flexibility are the most important personal and professional values I hold.

I believe that "with liberty and justice for all" means for all.

I unapologetically believe that LGBT+ rights are human rights.

I believe that no one is free until everyone is free.

I believe that the world would be a far better place if we recognized that asking for help is an act of strength.

I believe that no one should have to struggle alone.

I am successfully in recovery from addiction, depression, and severe anxiety disorder.

I have therefore decided that helping my fellow humans improve their mental health is how I want to spend the rest of my time on this earth.

Biography

I was born in 1979, and grew up in the midwest. My parents divorced when I was ten, and I did what many kids do: I blamed myself. That was actually the start of my therapy journey, in the sense that I needed help that never arrived. I did not know how to ask my parents for help, and they did not know how to offer it. I wish I had found the right therapist back in those days.

In school I faced a lot of bullying, a lot of which was violent. My friend group was a collection of kids who did not fit into any other group. At least half of my friends were members of the LGBT+ community, long before we ever saw a Pride event on TV, and so it was baked into my world view early on that it doesn't matter to me what you look like, how you identify, or who you love—all I really care about is: Are you kind, and will you stand up for people who can't stand up for themselves? My friends and I wore all black, painted our nails, and thumbed our noses at authority. We cut our musical teeth on NIN, Tori Amos, TOOL, Nirvana, and Ani DiFranco. My taste in music never really changed much, and you will still find me unapologetically blasting metal when the environment allows it.

When it was time to choose a career path, I made some huge mistakes early on. I did not take the time to deal with my trauma, or get to know myself deeply. I just chose something on autopilot because it seemed like a reasonable decision: Computer science was a growing field, and I knew I was smart enough to do it well. Nevermind the fact that I wasn't actually interested in it. Nevermind the fact that I did not enjoy it. I had watched my father go to work at a job he did not like for years, and so to me, that was what a man does: He goes to work at a job he doesn't like and comes home exhausted every day to provide for his family. I never stopped to ask myself even once, if what I was choosing would make me happy. That wasn't part of the equation I was solving.

I worked for 23 years as a software engineer, and spent 5+ years at Google, where I built and maintained planet-scale storage systems. During 23 years of succeeding at something that was absolutely wrong for me, I developed severe depression, an anxiety disorder, and I became an addict. I also married my best friend, lost my father to cancer, and became a father myself. Life is always more complex than it seems, but I was falling through it. That is the really tricky thing about falling: It feels like flying until you crash.

When I finally hit bottom, I was very lucky to find therapists standing there, looking at me with their hands outstretched. They helped me out of the crater that I created when I landed so hard, and patiently helped me unwind a lifetime of unprocessed trauma, depression, addiction, and grief.

They helped me do the most fundamentally important thing we can do as human beings: learn to accept and love who we truly are.

One of my favorite humans, Alok Vaid-Menon, says that "All of us actually have grief over being told who we should be, instead of being asked who we actually are", and this was certainly true for me.

So now, I am devoted to helping others as I was helped. I am dedicated to paying back to the universe, the gift it gave to me when I needed it most.

I hope you will join me, in whatever capacity is right for you, in the journey of becoming better human beings through connection.

Education / Certifications

Bachelor of Science in Computer Science, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, 2003.

Master of Social Work, University of Denver (ongoing, expected graduation 2028).